


Dangerous Love Affair

by HinaSaku



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Incest, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Mpreg, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Parent/Child Incest, Past Rape/Non-con, Post Mpreg, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 19:36:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13794792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HinaSaku/pseuds/HinaSaku
Summary: Every time he saw him, his heart skipped a beat. Every time he was near, his heartbeat sped up. Whenever they touched, he felt like his soul was on fire. When they finally get together, Four finds himself in a dangerous love affair filled with lies, betrayal, pain, and death.





	1. Chapter 1

Tobias took a deep breath as he looked down at the cement beneath the bridge he was standing on…the very same bridge that he was going to throw himself off of in a matter of seconds if he could find the nerve to do so. Why was he doing it? He was tired…tired of living the way he was. He was tired of being beaten by his father every single day of his life. He was tired of being touched in the way that man touched him whenever he felt like it. But no more…as soon as he threw himself off this bridge, it would all be over. He would be with his mother again and away from that monster. He slid off his shoes and climbed over the wet railing. A factionless person would take the shoes if they fit him/her. He would have given up his clothes too, but he didn't feel like being found naked or in his underwear.

"Abnegate to the end, huh?" he said to himself chuckling softly.

He hesitated before he could fling himself off. He couldn't do it, but yet he could. One hand it was cowardice, but on the other hand it held escape and freedom from his demons and fears. One quick movement was all it took to end it all and get away from all the troubles he faced at home. It seemed like killing himself would be the best option, but there was something holding him back. Literally and mentally.

A pair of hands had grabbed him by his arms and had said, "What do you think you're doing?"

Tobias looked over his shoulder and saw the very person his mind was on. Caleb Prior, a boy just a year or 2 younger than him, and the very same boy he was in love with when he first laid eyes on him. He was in the same faction as him, which was Abnegation, and in the school year underneath him since he skipped a grade. Every time he saw him, his heart skipped a beat and everything he was near, his heartbeat sped up.

"What's it to you?" he said bitterly.

"You're about to kill yourself." Caleb frowned.

"Yes and I'd thank you kindly to let me go through with it." Tobias snapped. Caleb's expression was unreadable, but he could tell that Caleb wasn't going to let him jump. It would be selfish of him to let him die, but at the same time it would be selfless and hew wouldn't know it.

"No." Caleb said stubbornly. "I'm not letting you go through with this."

"I suggest you let go before I take you with me." he didn't really mean this of course and was only saying it to make Caleb leave him be although a major part of him wanted to stop him from dying.

"You're being stupid, Tobias." Caleb said tightening his grip on the taller male's arm.

Tobias? Did Caleb really just say his name? "How do you know my name?"

"We're in the same classes together. I see you all the time." he noticed Caleb turning a little pink in the face. "I don't want you to die. You've got so much to live for."

Tobias laughed. "Like what? What have I got to live for? My mother's dead, my father's…" Tobias stopped himself from revealing his shameful secret. "…I have nothing to live for and if I died, who'd care? Nobody, that's who!"

"I'd care." Caleb whispered.

"No you don't…you're only saying that because you're trying to be a little hero. Well guess what? I don't want to be saved, so go home. You're probably pass curfew anyway."

"No! I-I…I appreciate you and I would really like for us to be friends…" he blurted out. "I have for a long time. You're really nice to me and when those Candor kids were bothering me on the playground that one time you stood up for me…and that other time when those factionless guys tried to…"

Caleb looked away, embarrassed. Tobias had remembered that time. Some factionless creeps had managed to corner Caleb in the shadows and violated him, but Tobias had stepped in and protected him. Afterwards the two had gone back to his house and he had clothed the younger male and calmed him down after the event.

FLASHBACK

Tobias was walking down the street after a day of helping the factionless people and was making his way back home when he heard voices down an alley way. He crept on over and saw a horrible site. Caleb was with a group of about four factionless guys. He was on his knees and…oh god! Were they actually? Tobias had rushed over before he knew it and punched one of the men. They hadn't seen or heard him coming, so they were unprepared for his attack. He used a dirty knife off of one of the men and cut one of them deeply and stabbed the other one. They were lucky that he didn't have a gun. Once they had run off, bleeding and in severe pain, the raven attended to Caleb, who was on the ground crying and Tobias didn't blame him. He used to cry after his sessions with his father.

"Caleb, are you okay?" Tobias tried to grab his arm, but he pulled away, afraid.

"No, stop! Please! I don't want to…don't make me do it again…"

"Sh, sh…it's alright…" Tobias assured him, hugging him tightly. Although Abnegates didn't really hug each other, it calmed the teen down and he didn't seem to mind. "It's okay…I'm here…"

Caleb suddenly pushed him away and starting wiping his eyes. Tobias didn't feel offended in the least.

"Come on, let's get you home." he said, but Caleb shook his head and Tobias knew why. He didn't want anyone to see him like this and he knew this feeling personally. He knew how it felt to be violated, so he wasn't surprised when Caleb didn't want to go home just yet. "Let's go to my house instead. I probably have something you could wear there and I'm sure my father won't mind."

Of course his father wouldn't mind. It wasn't because of their faction morals, but because of Caleb. If he refused to help Caleb, then the brunette's parents and the entire community would have something to say about it, so yes. He had to let Caleb get help at their house. Caleb frowned at this suggestion and shook his head.

"He's not home right now. He's in a meeting, so he won't be there to see us." he assured him. The younger teen thought about this for a minute and then nodded sniffing a little as he was helped up by Tobias. He started to pick him up, but found himself being pushed away harshly as Caleb winced in pain. They must have beaten him up badly if a little touch hurt him.

The raven gave him his space and guided him to his house. Every now and then, Caleb would look over his shoulder, probably thinking those Factionless people would come back or send their friends after them. The thought made Tobias mad. How dare they attack him? He had on gray which meant he was Abnegate, which meant that he helped the poor and always had. Why did they attack him of all people? Was it because they knew he wouldn't raise a hand against the factionless? He didn't know, but if he ever found those people, he'd kill them. He didn't care if Abnegates weren't killers. They had laid a hand on someone and violated him. They deserved to die.

Once they were at his house, Tobias ran some hot water and instructed Caleb to take off his dirty shirt, not wanting to rush him into taking off his clothes all at once. Caleb hesitated for a minute, taking a little time to search his face for something and slowly did it although painfully. He had bite marks on his chest, shoulders, and neck, bruises all over his arms, chest, back and sides, and he had long scratches down his back. His nose looked broken too as well as one of his fingers. They had messed him up badly, but they left his face uninjured except his nose.

"I ran a bath for you in the bathroom. You can go ahead in while I find some clothes." Caleb nodded and quickly made his way to the bathroom. Tobias had managed to find a few bits that were sort of Caleb's size, but they would keep him clothed at least. He wondered if Caleb was going to tell his family about what happened or if he even could. What would happen if he did? Abnegate liked helping the faction less, but they loved the law too. The factionless men would be punished if found.

Tobias came back into the bathroom with Caleb's back turned to him. He was carefully washing his wounds and mumbling to himself. "I found some clothes."

"Thank you." was all he said as he ran a bath cloth over his arm. The water was starting to turn a muddy color after Caleb washed himself. Those men were pretty dirty after all. He laid the clothes and towel on the toilet and went to call the Priors when his father walked in.

"Is dinner ready yet, Tobias?" Tobias realized in horror that he hadn't prepared dinner and he would pay for it. Then he remembered Caleb.

"No…" his father frowned and inched towards him. "…but that's only because Caleb needed my help."

"Caleb?" Marcus blinked. "Caleb Prior?"

"Y-yes." he said feeling relieved when his father stopped moving toward him. "He got attacked by some faction less people in an alleyway and I had to help him. I couldn't leave him there. I'll get started right away though."

"Where is he?"

"He's in the bathroom." Marcus nodded and went towards that way while Tobias quickly started on dinner. By the time he was done, Caleb had come in, but his father hadn't. Maybe he was calling Caleb's parents, who were probably worried about him. The two ate dinner in silence while the brunette ate very little. A few minutes later, Marcus had come into the room. "Caleb, your parents are on their way."

He only nodded as he poked at his dinner. When Marcus reached out and touched Caleb's shoulder, he moved away from his touch. His father seemed to understand and they went back to eating silently. After dinner was over, Caleb helped cleaned up although Marcus told him he didn't have to. Caleb looked kind of cute wearing his clothes as Tobias observed him washing the dishes. It was a bad time to be doing so, but he couldn't help staring every now and then. He felt himself turn bright red when their fingers touched when the brunette was passing him a plate. Caleb didn't notice and went back to washing.

Afterwards the two sat on the couch waiting for the Priors to come. Caleb's face was unreadable, but his eyes held fear, anger, and sadness. He understood those emotions quite well and wished to reach out and coddle him…to kiss all over and rub his soreness away, kind of like his mother used to do, but she did it in a motherly way. He reached out and touched Caleb's hand, which was in a fist. His hand twitched, but unfolded. Before he knew it, he was holding his hand and squeezing it hard. Caleb looked at him for a long time before turning away quickly when their eyes met.

Suddenly his parents came and Caleb released his hand quickly. Mrs. Prior looked worriedly at Caleb before trying to touch him, causing him to shrink away from him while her husband turned to Tobias. "Could we talk privately for a moment?"

Tobias nodded and they walked to his room. He then questioned the raven over what happened. Tobias told him what happened, feeling sick at the retelling and he could see that Mr. Prior didn't like what he was hearing either. After he finished, the older male said, "Thank you for helping our son and…for telling me what happened. Caleb…he probably wouldn't want to do it himself…I wouldn't expect him to. I'll imagine it'll take some time before he gets over it, but he seems…distant right now."

Tobias nodded. "He kept pulling away every time someone touched him."

"Especially after what happened, I'm not surprised." admitted Andrew, rubbing his chin. "He's going to be strange because of what happened. The best we can do is give him some space."

The two headed back into the living room where Caleb was looking out the window while his mother was standing behind him. When Natalie saw her husband, she came over and whispered something into his ear. Andrew nodded and went over to his son while Natalie asked to speak to Tobias. Once they were up in his room, she asked him what happened. "I want to know what happened to my son. Please don't leave anything out."

Tobias nodded and began talking, once more telling the story. Natalie buried her face in her hands and the raven could tell that she was sobbing silently into her hands. He imagined any parent would do so after hearing that their child had been violated like her son had. When he finished up, she hugged him, which was strange for an Abnegate to do, but he didn't mind as he patted her back.

"I can't thank you enough…if you hadn't been there…" she bit her lip. "Thank you for caring for our son."

"He would have done the same for me." he admitted.

"Yes he would have." they went back downstairs only to see Marcus and Andrew by the door chatting while Caleb was still staring out the window. "We're back, Andrew."

Andrew looked up at his wife and shook hands with Marcus before calling to Caleb. Caleb came over silently, his face still blank as a piece of paper. They said their goodbyes and then they were gone. Marcus didn't say a word to his son as he went to his own room and Tobias was relieved as he went back to his own.

End Flashback

"You still remember that, huh?"

"How could I forget?" said Caleb. "You saved me. If you're doing this because of your father is hitting you and touching you…"

Tobias looked him straight in the eyes. "How did you…"

"I…I came over one day to give you something for helping me." he admitted. "The door was unlocked and I went in…I saw him…doing things to you before he got up and stopped. I guess I came in just as he was stopping. I-I'm sorry I didn't help you then…I just got so scared…"

"It wasn't your fault. He's done that…too many times before…" the raven admitted. "You couldn't stopped him if you tried."

"You know…if you really want to get away from him, you could wait." said Caleb. "The test for the factions isn't that far away."

"It's a year and 4 months away."

"It's better to wait then to die. You're still young and you have your whole life ahead of you. You have a better purpose in this world than to be your father's punching bag. You can't let your father control you enough to kill yourself. In eight months, you'll be free and you won't ever have to see him again. If you do this, he'll have a good laugh because you're a coward…which you are by doing this. If you do this, I'll have no respect for you after this."

"I'm not a coward."

"Prove it."

Tobias tried climbing over the railing, but nearly slipped and fell, but luckily Caleb grabbed his hand and pulled him over. Once he was over, Caleb placed a hand on his shoulder. "Well I guess you're not a coward then."

"I told you." Tobias said wiping his hands on his pants from the dirty railing. "Thank you…for everything."

"No problem. Would you like for me to take you home?"

"I'd…appreciate that." Tobias smiled a little and Caleb did too. Almost killing himself was worth seeing that beautiful smile on his face.

After that day, the two teens became close friends although Tobias wanted to become more than that. The two spent a lot of time together, both at school and after school. Whenever the two were together, Caleb would usually talk about his family while Tobias stayed quiet and listened intensely. There was even times when Tobias would sneak over to Caleb's house and sleepover in his room. The brunette gladly let him inside and would whisper words of comfort to him after his father did something to him.

He learned that Caleb had a little sister named Beatrice and that she was pretty clumsy and didn't really fit into the Abnegation faction very well, but then again, neither did he. He admitted that he really loved reading and found that he had a very large IQ of 198.

"So you'd fit right in Erudite."

"Right…but I'm afraid of leaving my parents." he admitted as they watched some ducks eating the stale bread they tossed out into the pond.

"If you think you should leave, you could."

"I know…but…" The brunette sighed. "I'm worried about what they would say or think. They're my family…I know it's faction before blood, but I really don't care. My family is more important than some faction values."

"I wish I could feel the same way." said Tobias. "My father's the only family I've got and I can't even call him loving family since my mother died."

"I could be your family." Caleb smiled a little as he grabbed and shyly held his hand.

"I'd like that..." he squeezed his hand back. "…but I have a much different idea."

"What's tha…" Tobias pressed his lips up against Caleb's. The younger male's eyes widened in shock and he tensed up a bit, but relaxed and kissed him back. Once they pulled apart, Caleb was looking very conflicting and looked around. No one else was in the park, but the older male guessed he was doing this because of the kiss.

"Caleb…"

"H-huh?" he said not looking at Tobias.

"If you don't like me in…that way…I understand. I'm sorry if I offended you."

"No! I mean, I do like you and I'm happy you like me back…but…it's taboo. We can't be together."

"I don't care if its taboo. You're the only one I want, even if we're both men."

"If you're sure…but if we're going to make this work, we can't be affectionate in public like you just did."

"No one saw us."

"But next time they might."

"I promise." he said moving some hair out of his face.

"Good." the brunette blushed. "I…uh…have to get home. I'll see you tonight, Tobias."

Caleb squeezed Tobias's hand affectionately and took off. The raven smiled as he got up and went home. No one, not even his father, could ruin the good mood he was in. He hadn't rejected him and now his crush was now his boyfriend.


	2. Chapter 2

Caleb was in the kitchen making dinner for his family while said family was out. His mother and sister were out feeding the faction-less while his father was at another meeting with the other leaders. Once his father had departed for his meeting, Caleb hoped that his boyfriend would show up. Once he had placed the casserole inside of the oven, indeed the older man showed up.

"What took you so long?" Caleb looked relieved when he showed up after around an hour.

"I had to get dinner started." said Tobias sitting down at their dinner table. "So what are you doing?"

"Preparing dinner." Caleb gestured at the oven. "I just put dinner in just before you showed up."

"Where's your family?"

"My father is of course where your dad is and my mother and sister are feeding the faction-less." said Caleb in his boyfriend's lap. "That's means we're all alone."

"Are you trying to suggest something, Caleb?" Tobias raised a brow at the brunette at Caleb seductive tone.

"Maybe…but only if you're up to it."

"Sure."

"Come on then." he grabbed his boyfriend's hand and led him into the bedroom.

He left the older male in the bedroom for a little while before coming back shortly. Caleb pressed his lips on Tobias's and wrapped his arms around his neck pushing the taller man on the bed. The two men made out for a little while until Tobias reached underneath his boyfriend's shirt and squeezing his ass. Caleb slapped his hand away from his bottom.

"Don't get be so eager, Tobi." Caleb blushed.

"Sorry." he blushed. He had gotten carried away in the moment.

"It's alright." Caleb got off of the older male. "Come on. Let's take a bath together. You can get the bath started while I check in on dinner."

Tobias nodded and set to work on their bath. After he had started running the water, he took off his clothes and got into the warm water. Taking a bath was normal for the pair as they usually did it often whenever their parents were out. The first time they had bathed together, Caleb was a bit uncomfortable with it, but slowly started to not mind it.

"You have a beautiful body, you know." he said he helped wash his boyfriend's back.

"You always say that." Caleb blushed.

"Because it's true." he smiled at the younger man. Caleb smiled, slid into his boyfriend's lap, and then kissed his cheek.

"You're really something spoiling me like this."

"What do you mean? You mean complimenting me?"

"Well of course."

"I see. Well there's nothing wrong with a little spoiling every now and then." He shrugged. "Just as long as you're not being a vain jerk."

"I guess." Caleb closed his eyes. "Tobi…"

"Hm?"

"What are you planning on doing tomorrow?"

"Nothing besides school and maybe going to the hospital afterwards. Why?"

"I was thinking of giving you something to remember me by." said the younger male blushing.

"Oh?" he smiled at his boyfriend's red face. "What would that be?"

"I think you know."

"Only if you're ready, Caleb."

"I'm ready, but tomorrow okay?" said Caleb pushing his boyfriend's hair out of his eyes. "I have something planned for us."

"Tomorrow, huh? Why not today?"

"Because what I have planned will take a long time."

"Oh really?" Tobias was trying to get a little excited.

"It's a surprise though. I've gone through a lot of trouble to get the materials I needed with some help from a few people."

"Oh? Who would they be?"

"I can't really tell you that." admitted Caleb. "I promised I'd keep their identities a secret. Hopefully once its done, I'll be able to tell you."

Tobias was curious about it, but decided to let it got for now.

./.

As the day for the test came closer, I was growing more and more nervous. I was going to be leaving Caleb in a few months and I really didn't want to. Time was something we didn't have and I still hadn't chosen what I want. I couldn't leave him. It was like yesterday that we had first started going out, but now it seemed like the end. All I knew was that I needed to make tonight perfect.

Once I got to the Prior house, Caleb was home and thankfully everyone had went out for the day and wouldn't be back until dinner time. We went up to Caleb's room almost immediately and sat down on his bed. We had discussed this weeks ago, but now that it finally happening, both of us were nervous. This was our first time (and maybe our last time) together and it had to be perfect.

$%

"So, what'd you think?" I asked him afterwards.

"Amazing…" he confessed.

'I'm glad you enjoyed it." I laughed. He blushed and then slipped out the bed. "Where are you going?"

"I'm taking a shower. I…I smell bad. No offense."

"I'll take one with you."

While we were showering together, I thought back to the would only be a little while until we were separated from each other, possibly forever. I wanted to get out of Abnegation and away from my father, but not away from Caleb. I had mentally been making plans for us to go to a faction that would be safe for him and I to be together. However there were a few problems.

Erudite required you to be smart. I was smart, but not as smart as most of those people that belonged in that faction. I probably wouldn't pass and would have to become factionless and I didn't want Caleb to suffer with me because where ever I went, he would follow. Candor required truth and I don't think I would want to be in Candor. I heard it required you to tell the truth all the time and lying was not an option. They could see through lies easily since they were taught since birth to do so. Plus there was the part about being forced to share your secrets in front of hundreds of people. I couldn't do it. There was too much at stake to go there. I didn't know where they stood on the whole homosexually thing, but I didn't want to find out.

Amity was another faction. It was the farming faction and the peace loving ones. They loved hugging, singing, and…well just being happy all the time. I'm sure that's the place for us as I'm sure they would accept us as long as both of us were happy. However I don't think I would be able to last long in a place like that with my Abnegation background. We're not that affectionate and it would come off as awkward if we joined and were expected to just go with the flow. Besides the only person I was ever affectionate towards was Caleb.

Dauntless was the one I wanted to join the most. The sense of protection came naturally and so did a sense of justice, which Dauntless was supposed to represent. I felt like it was the place I wanted to be in. Caleb didn't like Dauntless though. He said all of them felt like they were dangerous and should be watched carefully. They were like monkeys with guns and hideous tattoos. I once admitted that I thought they looked beautiful and I wanted one.

"What would you do with a tattoo, Toby?" he said raising a brow with a slightly teasing look on his face.

"I would get your name to let everyone know that I'm yours." Caleb turned bright red when I said this and said no more. A few minutes later, he whispered. "Toby, do you want kids someday?"

He hesitated a bit. "I…uh...why?"

"I was just wondering…well actually I was thinking of having one."

"Okay…" He had no clue where this was going.

"We don't have to decide now." said Caleb after a while. "Forget I said anything."

"Uh okay." I wasn't quite sure what he was getting at, but I decided to let it be for the moment.


	3. Chapter 3

Today was the day. I was finally leaving to go through the test to decide our future for our child and ourselves. Caleb had assured me he trusted me to make the right choice. Where ever I went he'd go. Caleb wasn't able to go and see me after giving birth to our son so he wasn't going to be at the ceremony. It was a relief when we found out my son was mine and not any of those pieces of garbage. As I stood in line waiting for my turn to go inside, I thought back to that night where I both almost lost him and could have not been the father of our kid.

Caleb wanted to have a kid. At first I wasn't entirely sure I wanted one. I was afraid that with how messed up I was, I wouldn't be able to be a proper father to our child. I didn't want to be a horrible father like mine. Caleb tried convincing me I wasn't, but I still wasn't sure. Eventually I gave in and told him yes. I was determined to be a better father than my own. He had a serum that could be used to change a man's body in a few hidden ways so he could carry a child to full term. Whenever I asked about the people behind it, he told me he couldn't tell me. It made me wonder if it was some kind of secretive motivation behind it for who ever helped him get it. He took it and we had sex everyday that we could. He was eager to have a baby for some reason, but if it made him happy I was too.

One day when we were both assigned to work at the hospital, Caleb told me we could see if it had worked. I was eager to see who these people were behind this stuff so I could thank them in person for giving my lover something remind him of me and for giving me a family to think about. It was late at night when it happened. We had just gotten out of the hospital and it was dark out. A few of the street lamps needed changing and a couple of them flickered. The clouds in the sky were dark indicating rain was on its way and the atmosphere felt ominous. I kept Caleb close not wanting him out of my site. While I was on edge walking home, Caleb seemed to be more interesting in enjoying how romantic everything was. Personally I don't see how seeing as it reminded more of something from a horror novel.

"It's so peaceful out." observed Caleb. "It's kind of romantic, isn't it?"

"Yeah sure." I said still keeping a close eye out for any dangers. Normally a walk home didn't bother me too much, but tonight something seemed off. I couldn't tell what it was, but it was something. Was something following us or rather someone? I heard something behind us but when I turned there wasn't anything.

"Something wrong, Toby?"

"Something doesn't feel right." I said tightening my grip on his hand. "Let's walk faster."

"Oh okay." We walked a bit faster for a while until Caleb asked me to slow down.

He'd been on his feet all day and wanted to rest for a minute. I told him we could although something told me not too. That feeling proved to be right when we felt someone place a cloth over our faces and then there was nothing. When I woke up, I wished I hadn't. When I woke up, I had to watch as my boyfriend was mercilessly raped by the same bastards from before. I tied up and I couldn't look away. They knew we were together which is why they were forcing me to which. They did it because of me trying to kill them for what they did to him and the only way to get me back was through Caleb. I knew this wasn't my fault even though they tried acting as if it was my fault. I tried breaking through my restraints and making sure they wouldn't be able to put their hands on Caleb again. I couldn't though. Whoever tied these knots were good at what they did. I tried tying them but they were too tight. They drugged Caleb in their little lab we were in. I wasn't sure what it was doing to him, but there were times he looked dead but he was still breathing.

It took a few days before we were found and taken to a hospital. Only one of the other men were found. I was fine, but Caleb was in a far worse condition than I was. They found out he was pregnant and determined that one of our kidnappers was the father of our fast growing baby although Caleb and I knew the truth. Although I was released earlier, I came back everyday no matter what. I needed to be there for him. My father didn't like me being out so much, but he couldn't do anything since I was around Caleb making sure he was okay. From what was said, it was something made by the factionless and they had used it on Caleb and myself. How the heck had they even manage to get materials to make something like that? It made me wonder if someone on the inside of the factions was in on this. Now that I think about it, why didn't it work on me?

When I was released to go home, I overheard my father and Caleb's father talking about it but only bits and pieces of it managed to reach my ears. Something about a rebellion. Were the factionless trying to raise up and inflict this stuff on us so they could take us over more easily? How were they going to do that without help? Mr. Prior said that the person they had caught, Kyle, had only said that they held help from a person high up in Erudite giving them the material and help. He refused to say who, saying that she'd kill him or have him killed. If I could, I'd kill him myself. I wanted to find the bastards, but I couldn't do it. I didn't have the training for it or the weapons either. They never did find the rest of them since the piece of crap refused to say anything about their whereabouts. My father wouldn't tell me anything and I was afraid to ask. He never did like it when I asked questions.

I remained near Caleb, not because I was just a friend and we'd gone through that together and needed each other like his family thought. It was because if they tried that shit again, none of them were going to live to see another day. My father secretly owned a handgun and I had "borrowed" it. Caleb didn't like seeing me with it, but I told him if this was what it meant to protect him I'd do whatever it took. As the days went on, I made sure I was ready least they tried something again. The baby wasn't in any danger, thank goodness. He had been asked what he was going to do with it and he told me he was keeping it although he didn't have to. He could have easily given the baby up for adoption, but he chose not to.

"I know it's your baby." he said as we spent the afternoon in bed together. His head was resting on my chest and I was rubbing his back gently.

"But nobody else does." I pointed out. Although I was thinking there could probably be a possibility I wasn't the father, I kept it to myself.

When the baby was born, we did a secret DNA test and to our relief, he was mine. Because our relationship was a secret and we wanted to keep it that way for a while, he was given the last name Prior. He named him Toby after me. If one didn't know any better, they just thought it was because we were close. Toby was a quiet baby from what I observed. He hardly ever cried and most of the time he slept. My lover pointed out that all babies slept a lot. Seeing as I've never had a younger sibling, I wouldn't know. I asked how his family had adjusted to a new member of the family. He said that his parents helped him out with the baby although his mother commented that he barely needed it as Toby needed so little attention. All he did was sleep, eat, and poop, but mostly just sleep. It probably wouldn't be until he started walking and crawling was when he'd do more.

I thought about offering to take the baby off his hands, but thought better of it. I was afraid my father might do something to him or sense something being off. Either way, I wasn't going to risk it. Even if I feared neither, I wouldn't want that monster being near my son. Even if he coddled Toby and treated him better than he did me, I still wouldn't let him. As it grew closer to the day of the test, I was nervous. Whatever I picked would determine where my new family's future would head. I knew where I wanted to be, but would it be the right choice? My heart said yes, but my mind called me crazy. No matter what that test said, what I wanted was going to be permanent.


	4. Chapter 4

When Toby had told me what he had done, I didn't know what the heck was going on through his head. Dauntless? Of all the factions to join, he picked the one place where I didn't want to be. I understood why not our, no my current faction wasn't where he wanted to be. His father was the only thing keeping him from staying. The man abused him and was worth getting away from even if it meant your faction wouldn't be pleased about it. That's completely understandable. What isn't was picking something as dangerous and barbaric as Dauntless and expecting me to follow along and go too with our infant son. I knew he admired their work more than I did, but as far as joining them, it only came up a few times. Did he not think of his family just once?

In the letter he gave me to open after he was gone, he said he had. In order to protect us, he wanted to join the Dauntless to make sure the world was a safer place for the three of us to be in. Yeah sure. Safer. I sure felt safe when one of those idiots broke her leg jumping down from a window trying to act all cool just yesterday or any of them did any of those stunts and got hurt or the times a fight would break out among themselves. I wanted to give him words of encouragement that he was actually going to do his job and to do his best. I couldn't though. I was too afraid for his well being. The only thing that stopped me from tearing my hair out was our son. I'd miss him more than anything and the only thing that brought me comfort was our baby who looked a lot more like him than me.

I wonder when I would be able to visit him or he'd visit me. Sometime during ignition, parents and siblings would be able to visit the candidates. I felt uneasy at visiting him in such a place and didn't want to go. Then again I've never been there before so maybe my image of the place would wrong. I don't know and I can't say I won't still be nervous about it. In his letter he also told me that he'd write me a series of letters to give to me later if he couldn't send them. I didn't know why one wouldn't be able to send a simple letter, but figured it had to have some sort of reason behind it. I never did get a letter in the past few weeks he was gone so I figured he was either too busy to do it or they couldn't. When visitation did come around, I brought the baby along with me. I didn't want to, but I knew he wanted to see him and who was I to deny letting him see our son?

Toby was happy to see me and took to a more private area so we could talk. It was on the roof top of their building. Their weren't any cameras on since Toby had went through the trouble of disabling them for visitation. I was surprised he had gotten away with it, but I wasn't going to complain he had. The moment he made sure no one was around, he kissed me. God knows I missed being with him like this. It doesn't last long though since anyone could walk up at an time.

"How's it been since I left?" he asked sitting on the edge on the building. I held back the urge to say that was dangerous.

"Pretty much the same." I shrugged as I sat on one of the lawn chairs on the roof. "It's been a little lonely not having you around. You caused quite the stir since you've left. Nobody really ever leaves Abnegation."

"Maybe they should. Maybe they shouldn't." He shrugged. "I really don't care. I've had all the reason to leave."

"I know." I looked him over. "You look different."

He had a more muscular build to him for one thing. He no longer wore the Abnegation clothes which was normal when you changed factions. He wore a black t-shirt and a pair of black cargo pants. It looked weird seeing him in anything other than Abnegation clothes, but it did look good on him. Even a curtain looked good at this point.

"I've been working out quite a bit." He said crossing his arms. "It helps here."

"I can imagine."

"How's Toby been doing?" he asked getting off the edge of the building and taking Toby's tiny hand in his larger one.

"He's been fine." I said smiling. "He's starting to crawl now."

"I wish I could be there. The two of you are " He said looking disappointed. I wanted to say he could have if he'd have stayed with me, but I knew better than to do so. "It's really different here. We have to sleep in an area with everyone else, men and women. I'll probably end up getting more private quarters once I get in. That or when we get married."

"I-I don't know." I said shifting around in my chair as Toby held the baby. "I'd probably just end up getting kicked out and being factionless."

"You're smart and we need people like you." He assured me touching my hand. "You'd be able to find a place here."

"You sound so sure."

"Because I am." he kissed me on the lips again. "Let's not think about factions for a minute."

"What do you want to think about then?"

"If you didn't have the baby here, its all I can do." It took me a minute to think of what he meant. I playfully hit his arm.

"Oh please. Even if I didn't bring him, I don't think we could get away with sex up here." I said shaking my head.

"There are ways." Had he figured that all out beforehand just in case I'd come? He's a lot smarter than what he gives himself credit for. "If there's another visitation, we're defiantly doing it."

"Thanks for getting me all riled up at the thought of exhibitionism," I rolled my eyes. I was only half lying. It was an interesting thought, but I didn't entirely feel brave enough to try this out especially not here. If I knew I could get away with it...oh boy what kind of dangerous thought was I thinking? This place may be rubbing off on me already.

"Maybe later. I have to pass this test and then we'll see what we can do then." He grinned.

After that, Toby pretty much told me about how things worked in Dauntless since I was curious about them. The rules, the tests, and how crazy everything was compared to Abnegation although he did like the change in pace better and his fellow initiates. There was one of them that served as his main rival and from the sounds of it, the guy was just bitter because my lover was better than him. He got high scores and was pretty much one of the best ones there. I was happy that he had achieved so much during his absence. Could I ever hope to be as good as him when I went?

"It'll be over in a week and I'll be in." He said as he bounced the baby.

"Can you come see us after?" I asked. I hoped the answer would be yes. Even if he couldn't come to me in broad daylight, he could always sneak out and see me like before. He'd be really good at it now.

"Of course. I'll sneak down and see you if I have to. Then maybe we could..."

"I'd love to as long as you're not as too rough." I said teasingly causing him to blush.

When we had sex before, Toby was a bit rough and had the tendency to bite, pull hair, and grab hard enough to bruise me although the latter of which he never meant to do. I've grown to love rough sex, although there were times he was a bit too rough with me. I wasn't much better as I'd scratch his back sometimes without meaning to. I was eager hear that he'd visit me once it was all over with. I longed to run my fingers through his hair, to hold him close and listen to that deep, smoothing voice while he talked dirty to me or whispered sweet nothings in my ear, and to touch every inch of him and then some. While I was glad I at least saw him and at least shared a kiss with him, it wasn't enough. I needed more of him.I wanted to ask if he'd just sneak out and see me after visitation, but I knew that was probably too much trouble. I knew if I asked he'd do it as he's always been a little too keen on pleasing me with him going to Dauntless the one thing being the one thing I wasn't pleased with. He played with the baby for a while before it was announced that visitation had only 35 minutes left.

He offered to show me the rest of the facility and I politely agreed to be shown around despite not wanting to. I made sure I stuck close to him. I knew him well enough to know he wasn't going to do anything to me given he's my boyfriend and all, but there was no telling about the rest. It was neatly kept with no trash lying about and the rooms were neatly structured. I admired the architecture of the place over all although the sign of blood had me feeling otherwise. How often was the sparring mat cleaned, I wondered as we watched two Dauntless borns go at it. They were going at it pretty hard and it made me cringe at the thought of being up there, possibly going up against some larger person that I didn't stand a chance against. Besides that, violence wasn't my thing at all. How the heck did he expect me to be here? By the time our little tour ended, we spent the rest of it with each other. Once it was over, I gave him a long passionate kiss and he gave me the letters he had said he'd give me.

When I got back home, Beatrice was there making dinner. "Sorry I'm late. I didn't mean to be gone longer than what I'd say I was."

"It's fine." she said as she chopped up the carrots for the salad. "Did you go and visit Tobias?"

"Yeah. I can't say I really liked it there." I admitted as I placed Toby in his high chair. "I'm kind of scared for him."

I could tell Beatrice pitied me. Maybe even a little too much. I didn't want her worrying over me with who she thought was my best friend gone and me at a young age with a baby. She didn't have a thing to worry about to be honest and I wanted her to know that, but I had to keep her in the dark and she couldn't know any further than what she . At least for a little while. Maybe one day I'll tell her what's going on between Tobias and I, but for now it was a secret between us. It wasn't as if it was going to affect her anyways.

Weeks passed before I heard from him again. I was in the middle of putting our son to sleep when I felt a breeze on the back of my neck. I didn't remember opening the window though then again the house was feeling a little hot so maybe I had? I shut it without a thought as I didn't want Toby getting cold. I got into bed and drifted off to sleep. I felt warm kisses on my neck and a hand slipping under my shirt. I thought it was one of my dreams again, but when I opened my eyes I saw him again. I was happy to see him again since it had been so long. Too long.

Despite us never having sex when my parents were home (due to noise and all), we did it anyways. I wanted him. No I needed him like I needed air. I felt uncomfortable with the baby in the room so we moved to the bathroom down the hall. "I've been waiting so long for this." he said as he took off the last of his clothes.

"So have I."

Within seconds we stripped off our clothes and made love in the tub with me making a mental note to clean it in the morning. I bit my lip to keep from crying out his name as he sped up and kept hitting that spot that made my toes curl. He bit my neck, marking me for others to know I belonged to him. It came off to being a bit dumb considering it would mean having to cover my neck for a while until the hickey disappeared. I reached my climax a little earlier than I would have liked, but he didn't mind. Afterwards we cleaned up ourselves and snuggled in bed for a while before he had to leave. I didn't want him to, but he had to be back in the morning for the ceremony and I didn't want to hold him back. He had made it so far and was being placed permanently in the Dauntless faction. I couldn't ask him to leave even I want to anyways. Tobias was persistent for keeping us safe and with what happened with those factionless people, going factionless wasn't a choice for us nor was moving to another faction since he had already chosen one. I nodded with understanding and let him go although I wanted to beg him to stay. It would be some time before my turn to choose a faction, but I'd have to bare it if it meant I never had to be separated from Toby again.

"I wish you didn't have to leave." I whispered as he traced his name on my back.

"It won't be forever." He reminded me. "You'll be taking your test soon enough."

Soon wasn't soon enough surprisingly enough. It was a whole year away before I could take mine. While to anyone optimistic, it sounded worth it in the long run. I'd be getting our happy family together at last and Tobias wouldn't have to deal with his abusive father ever again. While I wished it was that way, it wasn't. I didn't have any confidence in my abilities to get in and stay in while Tobias had all the confidence in the world that I would get in. Could I really? I almost didn't want to risk it at all. What if I didn't make it, as I've wondered so many times before. I didn't want to be factionless with my young son although I could easily leave him with my parents if I chose to do so. Then there was the fact that those people who attacked us might find us again and...I shook the thought out of my head as soon as it entered. I didn't want to think about it too much since that day still haunted me and I had nightmares about it, which were made less tolerable now that Tobias wasn't around to soothe me back to sleep or comfort me. Did I really want to risk going through that again to be with him? I was secretly still undecided and was still trying to make up my mind. I had time to think, but the way time flew by, I was running out of time the more I thought about it. Should I?


End file.
